Survivorman: an objective analysis

There are not many men in this world that are tougher than myself, but if I had to come up with one, I would name Les Stroud. Stroud is the host of the show Survivorman. During each show Stroud is dropped off in one of the more remote areas of the world, where he has to survive for seven days and then find his way out of wherever he was left. With him he takes no technology, only a few basic bits of food to get by on, such as nuts, and yes, you guessed it, beef jerky (seriously). If I had to pick something to take out into the wilderness with me, beef jerky would definitely be among the required survival gear.

Beef jerky aside, Stroud braves the harshest of conditions, whether it be desert, frozen tundra, vast Canadian forests in the winter time. If you can name it, Stroud has kicked its ass and laughed like a pirate in its face. On one show, he got into a fight with a bear, and knocked its teeth out, that's how manly Les is (they didn't show this on camera, but I'm sure it probably happened).

Adding to the manliness of Les Stroud is a factor that he actually has nothing to do with. Another show on the Discovery Channel, Man vs. Wild, is similar in the fact that host Bear Grylls is dropped into the wild and has to survive. For those of you who aren't familiar with the show, there is one key difference. Bear is a bitch. Les lugs all of his own equipment around, sets it up himself, and builds his own shelters, one handed, while fighting off lions, wolves, and bears with his free arm. Bear has a camera crew, plenty of food, and pretty much sleeps in a hotel. "Bear" isn't even this guy's real name. His real name is Edward. What kind of name is Edward?

I have an idea for a new show I should pitch to the Discovery Channel. This would be a one time event. A faceoff between Stroud and Grylls. If the two were to fight Stroud would probably just crush Grylls' head in between his buttcheeks.

Stroud is a real man. He is a plaid wearing, jerky eating, ass kicking man. Grylls is not. He had to change his name, is probably vegetarian, and sleeps in the comforts of hotels. Forget that.