A trend that I have been paying more attention to as of late are people's constant use of hand gestures. As a result I have reached the conclusion that this might piss me off more than anything else that people do. These people are the ones who walk into a store and rather than saying anything make some hand gesture toward you in an obnoxious manner. This can be done in a variety of ways.
Pointing at the wall of cigarettes: These assholes walk in and point at the wall behind you that is loaded with cigarettes and expect you to know what they want. "Sir, what can I get you?" "Obviously the cigarettes that I am pointing at." The wall has 100 different varieties of cigarettes. I do not memorize what you smoke because I do not like you, and frankly I have more important things to commit to my memory than the type of cigarette that somebody that I probably wish would wrap his car around a pole smokes.
Going to the grill and pointing and whistling rather than getting in line, paying for your product, and letting me know what you want: No. Just no. I'll punch you in the mouth. You don't point at things and you sure as hell had better not ever think of whistling at me. I am not your dog. If you want my attention you will address me as sir, show me the respect I deserve (because after all I you are inferior to me) and if you're lucky, I will help you.
Holding up your fingers indicating a number of something. This is typical of lottery customers and also cigarette customers. Again, I am not a mind reader and do not care what you want. Shutup and go away.
Another action that bothers me, although not a hand gesture is shouting what you want to me from across the store. I am not playing lottery numbers for you period, so do not shout them across the store. Also, why do you need to tell me what kind of cigarettes you need when you are not even at my register? Where do people learn to conduct themselves in public?
I am sure there are many other situations where this rant is relevant, I just chose the one that applies most to the situation that I see it in. My advice for people that do this: Take an etiquette class and get a life.
30 March 2009
13 March 2009
Facebook: One of the greatest creations and disappointments of our time
Is it just me or does Facebook really suck these days? It is nearly impossible to login to Facebook without a bombardment of "news feed" snippets, status updates, and 100 annoying requests for applications that suck from people that you do not care about who consequentially suck even more.
When Facebook first started there was a good premise behind it. The purpose of the website was to connect people on a social network at different universities, at least after it expanded from Harvard. It was unlike MySpace in the fact that it was a simple layout with not much that one could do other than keep in touch with past classmates who were enrolled at pretty much any university in the country. These are exactly the kind of people I would like to keep in touch with. If I wanted to keep in touch with a bunch of burnouts, be forced to listen to their subpar "music," and see "bitchin'" HTML graphics I would login to my seldom used MySpace account, which on average I frequent once a month at best.
Facebook has gone down hill ever since allowing anybody to obtain an account. I have no problem with allowing access to everybody but it is at this point that the shitty features began to take form. With this there is now profile customization that results in me being pissed off when I view a friend's profile. One of the worst things is the news feed that shows up on the home page that tells you what everybody is doing. I don't care what any of you assholes are doing. If I did, I would click on your profile and read your status update, or even worse, succumb to the newest stupid trend that is known as Twitter.
Even worse than stalker feed are the stupid applications that Facebook has to offer. Some of you might think these are cool, and perhaps they are, until I have to waste 2 seconds of my precious time deleting your unwanted request from my unwanted Facebook inbox. I feel absolutely violated every time I receive one of these. No I do not want to go on a pirate or ninja raid with you. Pirates and ninjas kickass, and you are a disgrace to their name!
Alas, Facebook provides fellatio to more men than an 8 Mile hooker. I have been considering joining ConnectU, which is the company that pressed charges against Facebook for infringements. This is a similar (similar to Facebook before it smoked pole) social network that allows college students to socialize with one another. Another idea I have been seriously giving consideration to is launching my own social networking website. I am currently seeking out a partner in this as I have limited time to maintain such an endeavor, and also lack sufficient knowledge to do so. For now I will suck it up and use Facebook like the tool that I am.
When Facebook first started there was a good premise behind it. The purpose of the website was to connect people on a social network at different universities, at least after it expanded from Harvard. It was unlike MySpace in the fact that it was a simple layout with not much that one could do other than keep in touch with past classmates who were enrolled at pretty much any university in the country. These are exactly the kind of people I would like to keep in touch with. If I wanted to keep in touch with a bunch of burnouts, be forced to listen to their subpar "music," and see "bitchin'" HTML graphics I would login to my seldom used MySpace account, which on average I frequent once a month at best.
Facebook has gone down hill ever since allowing anybody to obtain an account. I have no problem with allowing access to everybody but it is at this point that the shitty features began to take form. With this there is now profile customization that results in me being pissed off when I view a friend's profile. One of the worst things is the news feed that shows up on the home page that tells you what everybody is doing. I don't care what any of you assholes are doing. If I did, I would click on your profile and read your status update, or even worse, succumb to the newest stupid trend that is known as Twitter.
Even worse than stalker feed are the stupid applications that Facebook has to offer. Some of you might think these are cool, and perhaps they are, until I have to waste 2 seconds of my precious time deleting your unwanted request from my unwanted Facebook inbox. I feel absolutely violated every time I receive one of these. No I do not want to go on a pirate or ninja raid with you. Pirates and ninjas kickass, and you are a disgrace to their name!
Alas, Facebook provides fellatio to more men than an 8 Mile hooker. I have been considering joining ConnectU, which is the company that pressed charges against Facebook for infringements. This is a similar (similar to Facebook before it smoked pole) social network that allows college students to socialize with one another. Another idea I have been seriously giving consideration to is launching my own social networking website. I am currently seeking out a partner in this as I have limited time to maintain such an endeavor, and also lack sufficient knowledge to do so. For now I will suck it up and use Facebook like the tool that I am.
06 March 2009
The world does not revolve around you
http://www.watoday.com.au/world/woman-calls-911-in-mcnugget-panic-20090305-8oy1.html
Really? This news story brings about a good point. People are self centered assholes. McDonald's being out of McNuggets is not an emergency you self centered bitch. Somebody could have been dying but that is okay because you needed your McNuggets. I would shudder to think what would happen if they were out of barbecue sauce.
[i-mur-juh
n-see] 
Show IPA noun, plural -cies, adjective –noun
I suppose somebody could make the argument that the lack of McNuggets technically fits this description, but one should probably not call 911 over it. Here is a list of other things that should not be considered an emergency.
6. The satellite to the lottery machine is covered in snow, thus making it impossible to print off or check lottery tickets (I can't tell you how many times this has ruined somebody's day)
5. The store you go to is out of a particular style of cigarette (luckily there are three more stores across the street)
4. You are stalking somebody's parking lot like a prick, and they are not even at their car for the purpose of leaving (you get pissed and rage ensues)
3. You have forgotten your ID so you cannot be sold cigarettes or beer (legally you are always required to be able to produce your ID, so technically you're breaking a law for this, don't make it about you)
2. You are hungover and don't feel well (at work we have somebody who comes in every single day, always to tell us about how hungover she is or how she is going out and getting drunk again. Nobody cares about your life story, furthermore, you are a loser)
1. The store where you are purchasing your beer at 7 in the morning has yet to unlock its cooler. It will be okay. You will have your beer by 7:01, and you will have only lost one minute of your daily drunken stupor. Go kill yourself.
In closing, every day I deal with some form or mental midget who makes everything about themselves. If something goes wrong it is always an emergency situation even though it is normally something minor. If the previous list is the worst thing that has happened in your day then you are probably having a better day than I am. Get over yourself and get a life. When you come into a store do not tell your clerk your life story. Chances are the clerk hates their job and they probably hate you too, so make your purchase and get out.
Really? This news story brings about a good point. People are self centered assholes. McDonald's being out of McNuggets is not an emergency you self centered bitch. Somebody could have been dying but that is okay because you needed your McNuggets. I would shudder to think what would happen if they were out of barbecue sauce.
e⋅mer⋅gen⋅cy
[i-mur-juhn-see] Show IPA noun, plural -cies, adjective –noun | 1. | a sudden, urgent, usually unexpected occurrence or occasion requiring immediate action. |
| 2. | a state, esp. of need for help or relief, created by some unexpected event: a weather emergency; a financial emergency. |
6. The satellite to the lottery machine is covered in snow, thus making it impossible to print off or check lottery tickets (I can't tell you how many times this has ruined somebody's day)
5. The store you go to is out of a particular style of cigarette (luckily there are three more stores across the street)
4. You are stalking somebody's parking lot like a prick, and they are not even at their car for the purpose of leaving (you get pissed and rage ensues)
3. You have forgotten your ID so you cannot be sold cigarettes or beer (legally you are always required to be able to produce your ID, so technically you're breaking a law for this, don't make it about you)
2. You are hungover and don't feel well (at work we have somebody who comes in every single day, always to tell us about how hungover she is or how she is going out and getting drunk again. Nobody cares about your life story, furthermore, you are a loser)
1. The store where you are purchasing your beer at 7 in the morning has yet to unlock its cooler. It will be okay. You will have your beer by 7:01, and you will have only lost one minute of your daily drunken stupor. Go kill yourself.
In closing, every day I deal with some form or mental midget who makes everything about themselves. If something goes wrong it is always an emergency situation even though it is normally something minor. If the previous list is the worst thing that has happened in your day then you are probably having a better day than I am. Get over yourself and get a life. When you come into a store do not tell your clerk your life story. Chances are the clerk hates their job and they probably hate you too, so make your purchase and get out.
05 March 2009
An oldie but a goodie...Ryan pisses off customer: violence nearly ensues
I am going to describe a transaction that happened at work a couple of months ago and for those who are anticipating a story about an insane asshole, I promise not to disappoint. I had a line of customers, the radio was on, and I was drumming on the counter as I typically do when waiting for somebody to pay. This is not an exaggeration as I would never embellish anything for the sake of humor.
Me: Just that?
Customer (On his cell phone): Yes
Me: $1.37 (Starts drumming on the counter lightly while anticipating dinero either being chucked on the counter or if hell freezes over, ending up in my hand: see rant about how people suck if you don't understand)
Customer: Hold on, I can't hear you (to friend on phone. He then hands me the money and I bid him adieu)
Fast forward 10 minutes
A man enters the store, and I do not recognize this man because it has been 10 minutes
Customer: Is your manager here I need to talk to him?
Me: HER name is Billie, and she is not in, is there something I can do for you?
Customer: No, I need to tell your manager what a rude fucking asshole you are
Normally me, being the hot head I am would not put up with this verbal abuse and at this point would throw him out of the store, but anticipating a good story I allowed him to remain in the store.
Me: Sir, what did I do to wrong you?
Customer: You were drumming on the counter like a rude motherfucking dickhead while I was on the phone. Is that fucking considerate? Is that polite dickhead? You need to get some motherfucking manners and decency.
Me: Sir, in all due respect it is impolite to be on the phone. Furthermore there are signs posted that say I shouldn't even be waiting on you while you are on your phone, so I did you a favor.
Customer: You motherfucker, give me your fucking manager's number. Next time you drum on the fucking counter while I am on the phone I will come over the counter and split your fucking head open.
I gave the customer the number and he left after this. In retrospect I should have either invited him behind the counter, or called the police, I am still not really sure. Bottom line: People are lunatics. Reminder: This is a detailed description of what happened verbatim. Nothing has been embellished. You tend to remember exactly what is said when you are threatened.
Me: Just that?
Customer (On his cell phone): Yes
Me: $1.37 (Starts drumming on the counter lightly while anticipating dinero either being chucked on the counter or if hell freezes over, ending up in my hand: see rant about how people suck if you don't understand)
Customer: Hold on, I can't hear you (to friend on phone. He then hands me the money and I bid him adieu)
Fast forward 10 minutes
A man enters the store, and I do not recognize this man because it has been 10 minutes
Customer: Is your manager here I need to talk to him?
Me: HER name is Billie, and she is not in, is there something I can do for you?
Customer: No, I need to tell your manager what a rude fucking asshole you are
Normally me, being the hot head I am would not put up with this verbal abuse and at this point would throw him out of the store, but anticipating a good story I allowed him to remain in the store.
Me: Sir, what did I do to wrong you?
Customer: You were drumming on the counter like a rude motherfucking dickhead while I was on the phone. Is that fucking considerate? Is that polite dickhead? You need to get some motherfucking manners and decency.
Me: Sir, in all due respect it is impolite to be on the phone. Furthermore there are signs posted that say I shouldn't even be waiting on you while you are on your phone, so I did you a favor.
Customer: You motherfucker, give me your fucking manager's number. Next time you drum on the fucking counter while I am on the phone I will come over the counter and split your fucking head open.
I gave the customer the number and he left after this. In retrospect I should have either invited him behind the counter, or called the police, I am still not really sure. Bottom line: People are lunatics. Reminder: This is a detailed description of what happened verbatim. Nothing has been embellished. You tend to remember exactly what is said when you are threatened.
03 March 2009
You might be a loser if....
10. You buy alcohol before noon (this is excusable when one is purchasing to go tailgating, it is opening day, or there is football starting at noon)
9. You consume alcohol on a daily basis.
8. You verbally abuse other people to cover up your own insecurities.
7. You spend several dollars a week playing the Daily 3 and Daily 4.
6. You drive a Cadillac or other form of expensive vehicle but use a Bridge Card to purchase your groceries (way to be an asshole and milk the system).
5. You have no job and have no desire to look for one (this does not apply if you are a college student who does not work).
4. Every other word out of your mouth is four letters long and starts with an F.
3. You smoke so much that the smell of cigarettes emanates from your pores
2. You beat your children or wife/girlfriend (I will bash your brains in for this)
1. You have a difficult time paying your bills, but conveniently always have enough money for that ever important pack of cigarettes, even though the prices are increasing monthly.
Disclaimer: There are many more indicators as to what can make one a loser. Also, while there are exceptions to every rule, if you exhibit one or more of these you are probably a complete and utter failure in life. My advice: Stop being a self centered prick who lives a life of decadence outside of their means and pay your bills!
9. You consume alcohol on a daily basis.
8. You verbally abuse other people to cover up your own insecurities.
7. You spend several dollars a week playing the Daily 3 and Daily 4.
6. You drive a Cadillac or other form of expensive vehicle but use a Bridge Card to purchase your groceries (way to be an asshole and milk the system).
5. You have no job and have no desire to look for one (this does not apply if you are a college student who does not work).
4. Every other word out of your mouth is four letters long and starts with an F.
3. You smoke so much that the smell of cigarettes emanates from your pores
2. You beat your children or wife/girlfriend (I will bash your brains in for this)
1. You have a difficult time paying your bills, but conveniently always have enough money for that ever important pack of cigarettes, even though the prices are increasing monthly.
Disclaimer: There are many more indicators as to what can make one a loser. Also, while there are exceptions to every rule, if you exhibit one or more of these you are probably a complete and utter failure in life. My advice: Stop being a self centered prick who lives a life of decadence outside of their means and pay your bills!
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