A Typical day at Work

As many may know I work at a convenience store. The meat of my writing will come in my rantings about this hell hole that provides me (by me I of course mean Oakland University) with money.

The typical day begins with me waking up at 6 a.m. cussing out my alarm clock, wishing I could find just about any rational excuse that would enable me to call off of work. Upon arriving at work I get to enjoy my tyrant of a manager proclaiming that so and so is a lazy "cocksucking son of a bitch piece of shit" (pause here for a moment to enjoy that this trash gets paid more than I do) because they forgot to accomplish whatever menial task the evening called for. I then spend at least the next hour contemplating why I have to hear this filth spewed from my manager's foul orifice.

Then the rest of the day is spent being talked down to by condescending alcoholic white trash. When I say alcoholic I am not talking about the kind of people who have a beer everyday. I am talking about losers who show up at 7 a.m. (for those of you who are not familiar with Michigan law, this is the earliest that one can acquire beer) shaking and demanding to know if the beer cooler is unlocked. Beyond the manager with psychotic tendencies (I once took a 100 level psychology class, so naturally this gives me the right to diagnose her problems, thus undermining an entire category of study and a field that is being viewed as a science more and more) and the raging alcoholics, there is an even worse evil that frequents the store at which I work.

This evil is none other than the lotto pest. This variety of a loser is the type that gambles every day, and swears at you when you refuse to punch in lotto numbers for them. This is my right, as being the elitist that I am I know that I am superior to them, and if one wishes to take a more childish approach, my boss (not my manager Lucifer, who shall henceforth be referred to as Lucy, but the owner, and man who pays me) said so!

There is but one more type of asshole for us all to get acquainted with, so that we may all understand my future rants. This asshole is the average customer. The type that when you say "Hi, how are you today?" responds with "Marlboro Menthol Lights." "Really? You're Marlboro Menthol Lights today? I'm feeling pretty Salem Slim Lights 100's myself, thanks for asking." This is the type of customer who while uneducated, and probably unemployed, thinks that they are too good to hand you the money. They opt for the much more rational approach of throwing it on the counter, and then cry when you present their change back to them in the same manner in which it was given to you.

With this information the stage is set for the world to enjoy how much people really suck. Actually, does anybody know if there is a way that I can classify this blog as a Self Improvement Blog? By reading it one can ascertain the proper course to take so that they do not become an asshole.