Ode to the new year...

With the new year quickly approaching many will be formulating their New Years resolutions. Here are some of mine.

1. Bust more people's chops.

I have been acting kind of laid back lately, and knocking less people back in line when they make their stupid comments. I need to remind them that they are stupid.

2. Quit my job at 7-Eleven.

Not much more needs to be said about this. This job sucks, and it is time to move on.

3. If #2 fails, commit suicide.

I will not spend another year working at this place, even if it means death is the only way out.

4. Be less judgmental of others.

I already know that I am better than them, so why waste time focusing on them when I could be thinking about somebody truly great? Myself.

5. Eat more manly sandwiches.

You've already read about manly food, and as a result, you know how I feel.

6. Wear more plaid.

Dressing like a lumberjack is badass.

7. Headbutt a customer.