Attention all women...

I am sick of all of these clowns with a regressive attitude suggesting that women do not belong in the workplace. One of the groups most associated with this are naturally chauvinistic men, and older people, who grew up in a generation where women simply did not work. My future grandmother in law is a prime example of this. She once claimed that the financial contributions of the wife of my awesome future brother in law were irrelevant, even though I am pretty sure she brings a similar amount to the table. I know I would miss 50 percent of my total income if it was suddenly gone.

Me, being the superhero that I am, am all for women working. In fact, when I am king, women will be forced to work. Men will stay home and watch football all day, while their slav...I mean wives, support them and bring home the bacon. Upon arriving home, nagging will not ensue. What will happen is the wife will rush to the kitchen to prepare a manly meal for her husband.

I hate people who tell me women shouldn't drive. Somebody has to chauffeur us around town when we are drunk and belligerent.

Don't worry women, I am just kidding, with the exception of everything following the first line.