You might be a loser if....

10. You buy alcohol before noon (this is excusable when one is purchasing to go tailgating, it is opening day, or there is football starting at noon)
9. You consume alcohol on a daily basis.
8. You verbally abuse other people to cover up your own insecurities.
7. You spend several dollars a week playing the Daily 3 and Daily 4.
6. You drive a Cadillac or other form of expensive vehicle but use a Bridge Card to purchase your groceries (way to be an asshole and milk the system).
5. You have no job and have no desire to look for one (this does not apply if you are a college student who does not work).
4. Every other word out of your mouth is four letters long and starts with an F.
3. You smoke so much that the smell of cigarettes emanates from your pores
2. You beat your children or wife/girlfriend (I will bash your brains in for this)
1. You have a difficult time paying your bills, but conveniently always have enough money for that ever important pack of cigarettes, even though the prices are increasing monthly.

Disclaimer: There are many more indicators as to what can make one a loser. Also, while there are exceptions to every rule, if you exhibit one or more of these you are probably a complete and utter failure in life. My advice: Stop being a self centered prick who lives a life of decadence outside of their means and pay your bills!